Friday, February 12, 2010

Unlucky Arithmetic

My children's lit teacher has this poster hanging on the door to his office. It's genius.

Unlucky Arithmetic
Thirteen Ways to Raise a Nonreader
by Dean Schneider and Robin Smith

1. Never read where your children can see you.

2. Put a TV or computer in every room. Don’t neglect the bedrooms and kitchen.

3. Correct your child every time she mispronounces a word.

4. Schedule activities every day after school so your child will never be bored.

5. Once your child can read independently, throw out the picture books. They’re for babies.

6. Don’t play board games together. Too dull.

7. Give little rewards for reading. Stickers and plastic toys are nice. Money is even better.

8. Don’t expect your children to enjoy reading. Kids’ books are for teaching vocabulary, proper study habits, and good morals.

9. Buy only 40-watt bulbs for your lamps.

10. Under no circumstances read your child the same book over and over. She heard it once, she should remember it.

11. Never allow your child to listen to books on tape; that’s cheating.

12. Make sure your kids only read books that are “challenging.” Easy books are a complete waste of time. That goes double for comic books and Mad magazine.

13. Absolutely, positively no reading in bed.

2 comments:

  1. Ha! I love this list. To it, I would add, do not ever give your kids flashlights to use at night after the lights are supposed to be out.

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  2. Hi, I'm glad you have it here. Horn Book has taken down that page so the original link that I had from School Library Journal doesn't work. I guess that they have to clear out old pages to make space for new on their servers, so thanks for having it here! I've linked to this page from my blog in Spanish.

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